artyfax

Thursday 22nd December

David Bomberg, rather shockingly, was a jew who DIDN'T live in Hendon.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 12:07 AM

Wednesday 21st December

Rene Magritte is the only interesting thing to come out of the country of Belgium.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:10 AM

Tuesday 20th December

Henry Moore is often described as one of the best modern artists, or one of the best artists in modern times, however it is a little known fact that he is not.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:42 AM

Monday 19th December

Hieronymus Bosch's parents originally dreamed of calling their son Annoymous Bosch, but hence giving him the name, he would not be annoymous ever, and would have to write to Dear Deirdre in person whatever.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:40 AM

Sunday 18th December

It was said of Edgar Degas that he was one of the wisest men of the 19th century in France. However it was also said of Edgar Degas that he had hideous wind problems which in turn brought about the nickname Degas De Gas. Not only this but it is also said that the wisdom and wind combined led to Bob Dylan knowing that the answer is blowing in the wind. So if you ever head back in time here are a few questions to ask Degas De Gas...

How many roads must a man walk down
Before you call him a man?

how many seas must a white dove sail
Before she sleeps in the sand?

how many times must the cannon balls fly
Before they're forever banned?

How many times must a man look up
Before he can see the sky?

how many ears must one man have
Before he can hear people cry?

how many deaths will it take till he knows
That too many people have died?

How many years can a mountain exist
Before it's washed to the sea?

how many years can some people exist
Before they're allowed to be free?

how many times can a man turn his head,
Pretending he just doesn't see?

Think you're wiser than Degas... answers on a comment to artyfax!

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:34 AM

Saturday 17th December

It is often said that if Frederic Bazille's life had not been cut short (due to the fact that someone put several bullets in him during the franco-prussian war) that he would of gone on to be a more successful mime artist than Jorn 'Le Bagette'Barger, Jean-Louis Barrault, Jean-Gaspard Debureau, Ladislav Fialka, Gregg Goldston, Jacques Lecoq, Tony Ceravolo, Marcel Marceau, Kari Margolis/Tony Brown, Carlos Martínez, Harpo Marx, Samy Molcho, Oleg Popow, Mikael Rudolph, Pan Tau, Shields And Yarnell and Michael Lee put together in a big vat of mimeness.

Incidently David Bowie was a mome artist before he became a singer / labyrinth man - he was rubbish.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 12:29 AM

Friday 16th December

The Dandy Warhols are no relation to Andy Warhol.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 12:10 PM

Thursday 15th December

The life of Max Ernst, the surrealist, was lyricised by Frankie Goes To Hollywood in their number one hit "Relax."

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:11 PM

Wednesday 14th December

Samuel Palmer couldn't catch, and subsequently was taunted at school for being a girl. Years later it tormented him so much he snapped a paintbrush in half, the big tough man.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 7:32 PM

Tuesday 13th December

Fernand Leger will be played by Djibril Cisse in his biographical movie.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:12 PM

Monday 12th December

When asked whether he supports Bristol City or Bristol Rovers, Damien Hirst's usual reply is, "Football? I don't like football, i'm an artist." In years to come his son will find the dad he never had to take him to the football on saturday afternoons.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 9:41 PM

Sunday 11th December

Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec was an alcoholic, dirty little balding midget with no friends and ricketty legs and that is a FACT.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 2:58 PM

Saturday 10th December

It was once discussed in the house of commons to propose to Anthony Gormley to make his tiny people to populate the millenium dome to make it look used.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:22 AM

Friday 9th December

Simon Starling's Shedboatshed can also be turned into the following things:

a bungalow for midgets
14 beer barrels
1043 welsh love spoons
4 chest of drawers
the worlds second largest fence
15000 spanking paddles


Simon Starling yesterday ---->
(yes i know its not really him)(or his work)

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:10 AM

Thursday 8th December

Leonardo Da Vinci had an irrational fear of heights.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:27 PM

Wednesday 7th December

Theodore Gericault happily refered to the period of time when he painted portraits of the insane til he realised he lived with them. He also died falling falling off a horse like Drew in neighbours, and was buried and forgotten about in the same episode.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 6:54 PM

Tuesday 6th December

David Bomberg once held several Frisbee world records.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 9:13 PM

Monday 5th December

Edouard Manet's "Luncheon on the Grass" was more brunch than lunch, but at the time brunch didn't exist so there is no need to say that infact he was wrong to call it luncheon when they never had bruncheon back then, although saying that in this day and age we would rather call it bruncheon, especially if one is feasting in a rather nice cafe/pub type place.

and if that isn't good enough for you...

Exhibited with other impressionist paintings at the Salon des Refuses by Manet in 1863, this painting earned the impressionists a great deal of media attention. Whilst a nude in a classical setting was considered acceptable, one in a contemporary setting was not. Luncheon on the Grass caused a public scandal and was savaged by the critics.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 11:52 AM

Sunday 4th December

Jasper Johns would have gone on to become one of the USA's best ever gymnasts, had he chosen to take it up as a hobby rather than painting the same monotonous thing over and over again (oh and thievery).

posted by onelosthousemate @ 6:22 PM

Saturday 3rd December

David Hockney, at one point was such a dirty little pervert, he made a suit entirely made of bathroom tiles so he could sneek up on men in the shower.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 7:41 PM

Friday 2nd December

Not only did James McNeill Whistler never consent to being in the Bean Movie but the painting around which the film revolves is referred to universally as "Arrangement in Grey and Black, Portrait Of The Artist's Mother" by art galleries (the first part being Whistler's original title for the painting), not "Portrait of Whistler's Mother".

posted by onelosthousemate @ 7:20 PM

Thursday 1st December

In eight years time Tracey Emin will discover that Jeremy Beadle is her real father.

posted by onelosthousemate @ 12:13 PM